34
Since I was a child, I have mostly been slow to anger and I rarely forgive. Unlike a lot of my family, I will put up with a lot. I will not flash out immediately. I will attempt to have patience. I'll try to figure out solutions and catalysts for behavior before I get mad. But once I get mad, holy shiz. That whole "forgive and forget" thing? Yeah, never learned it. I've worked on the forgiving thing--I have! And now, it's to that point where I just forget you or it ever existed. And that's kind of like forgiving. Okay, it isn't. I'm a work in progress. That being said, I've never been one to have a hard time apologizing. It is rarely my intention to hurt feelings and when I find that I have, I immediately feel the need to apologize and attempt to right my wrong. BUT! (y'all knew there was a "but" coming. Don't pretend you didn't) Thing I cannot apologize for: being myself. I am who I am. It's been like this for 25 years now. I change everyday in someway or another, but I can't apologize for being me. I can be funny. Sometimes. I will attempt to hulk smash anyone who challenges me in Jeopardy! I am stubborn and I hate to be told I can't do things. I am a dreamer. Sometimes, I need to be reeled in. I can see potential in damn near anything. ^^^This is not always a good thing. I hate resting. When I rest, I feel weak. I have been slowly realizing that sometimes, resting is the strongest thing you can do. I say what I mean and mean what I say. And I have an expectation that others will do the same. I am realizing that I should never set expectations for other people. I go to bed at 8 pm. I wake up at 3:50 am. I am a fantastic sleeper. Seriously. I've got SKILLS. I sometimes use offensive language. I sometimes express offensive viewpoints. I sometimes do both of the above because I like to play Devil's Advocate. I love history. I hate geography. I love my family and friends. And I will fight anyone for them everyday of the week. I love Law and Order: SUV and NCIS marathons. I have a problem being empathetic. I sometimes hurt people's feelings because I can be insensitive. ^^^Neither of these are intentional. Most days, I think I'm a superhero. If I could be a superhero, I'd be the Hulk. I find that the Bible has some pretty good morals of the story. I think humor can fix almost any problem. I sometimes use humor to defer problems. I want to know everything about everything. I have the incredible ability to use rap lyrics to solve any classroom problem you can throw at me. I reserve the right to redefine who I am every moment of everyday. Through this blog and through this journey, I have found that sometimes, people don't like what I'm going through. They don't like this me and think I should go back to the "old me" or they think I've changed. And they're right. I am not the same person I was 7 months ago. I'm not the same person I was yesterday! I'm just me. And I hope I'm a better me now, than I was then. It's not the easiest thing to identify, face your problems and try to change them. What are you finding out about yourself on your journey? PS: There are only 3 days left for you to enter to win 2 Asphalt Therapy Wristbands! Make sure to visit the giveaway page and get your 10 entries to win!